Eat, Pray, Whore Myself Across India

Disclaimer: This is a movie/book review done by someone who has not read/seen this movie/book. Enjoy.

Eat, Pray, Love is a movie/book about a woman who ditches her corporate job to "find" herself in India, Bali and Italy.
Problem no. 1: Why do I have to travel to "find" myself? Can't I just take a couple of weeks off and do something slightly less expensive like join a church, take a painting class or go to a museum (and try to sneek in as a 12 yr. old to get the kids price?). Well, not according to Eat, Pray, Love.
Problem no. 2: How does one "find" oneself? Did my former self leave me a series of clues like a scavenger hunt? If I ran away without telling anyone do I really want to find that person again anyways? He sounds like a real douche.
Problem no. 3: I liked this movie better when it was called "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"
Problem no. 4: It must be really easy to "find" yourself when you are independently wealthy. Just like being skinny is easier when you are rich. i.e. personal trainers and fancy foods. If I had been in this movie/book it would have been called "Eat, Pray, Whore Myself Across India" because I wouldn't be able to afford to get back to America where whoring is illegal.
Problem no. 5: Shut up Julia Roberts!! You play the SAME character in every movie you have ever done!! I want to see Julia Roberts in a slap stick comedy about CGI dogs who rescue their town from an alien invasion. (Now that is an acting range) Or Perhaps, a Quentin Tarantino film where Roberts plays a one-eyed zombie hooker who is back from the grave to exact her revenge on her former occult pimp, who turned her into the one-eyed zombie hooker she is today. (It's got Oscar written all over it!)

In conclusion: If you are a middle aged, middle class, white woman with 1.5 kids you will probably love this movie/book. Everyone else? Hope you're ready to whore yourself across India!