Dear Texas,

All my life I have been trying to escape cowboy boots, country music, trucks and Mexican food. Now, I am in a place that is devoid of all these things but also devoid of all the things that make Texas great. These things include but are not limited to: a freeway system that was NOT created by a meth addicted monkey; a ghetto that includes interesting ethnic graffiti NOT prostitution on a Tuesday at 2pm; a hip music/dance club on every corner NOT a place called the Thirsty Camel; Wal-Mart's that stay open past midnight; an air force base NOT a naval base full of seadogs; book stores; music stores; (apparently no one here can read or play)

Sorry Virginia, I hate to rag on you this much and maybe you're not really that bad? I'm being unfair comparing you to Texas. Doing that is like comparing a Klondike bar to crème brulee made in France. I still love Klondike bars; there's just no comparison the only thing that is binding these two confectionaries is the fact that they are both desserts. The only thing that is binding Texas to Virginia is the fact that they are both states...oh wait...Virginia is a commonwealth not even a state! Un-American, if you ask me.