Old Timey Photos

All beach towns, cheesy resorts and Branson, Missouri have these "Old Timey Photos" everywhere. What are old timey photos? These are photos of your scantily clad Aunt Barb awkwardly stroking a large Smith and Wesson rifle all while giving "bed room eyes" to your 52-year-old Uncle Jim, who for some reason is wearing a fake handle-bar mustache, spurs and a slightly too tight leather vest because the "Old Timey Photo Booth" was out of a men's XL pot-belly size, so he had to squeeze himself into the child's "husky" size, instead.

We've all seen/and or done these horrible family photos but I am always left somewhat disappointed. I want a REAL "Old Timey Photo". I didn't know that Old Timey translates to, only the American West circa 1802-1898 via Billy the Kid. I want to pose nude with only a fig leaf, an apple and a snake! Now, that's Old Timey!!! Or how about dressing up like the Allied Forces battling the Nazis?! That's Old Timey.

I think if someone set up an "Old Timey Photo" booth that specialized in the Jurassic era, that person would make a million bucks! Who doesn't want to be the family dressed up as T-Rexs', velociraptors and plesiosaurs?! Slap an Instagram filter on that, perhaps some sepia tones, and you've got yourself a memory; all it needs is someone throwing up on the tilt-a-whirl, some kettle corn and (as always) some salt-water taffy.