Regicide

The long reign of Prince Regent Il Topo Primo has finally come to an end. No thanks to pest control or Spike Jonez (The cacti). Years ago, in a galaxy far far away (also known as 'college') a young woman asked her future spouse, "When are you going to kill for me?". I believe we were watching Breaking Bad or something equally violent and one of the main characters murdered someone in a fit of vengeance on behalf of his wife. If my memory serves me correctly Andrew answered by saying, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Last night we discovered our house mouse scurrying about in our utility closet and I spotted him as he ran up into the vacuum tube. Andrew banged the vacuum against the wall and nothing happened. I suggested we turn the vacuum on. This suggestion was met with disbelief and horror towards my lack of maternity. Finally, we plopped the small vacuum into our Fire House Subs bucket and Il Topo soon reappeared and was instantly trapped inside the bucket.

Unfortunately, we couldn't just release our little house guest into the wild because I knew that he would eventually return to our apartment or that of another. We had to kill...
Addendum. My husband had to kill...

He finally killed for me!!! I feel like our relationship is reaching new heights!!! Andrew was not as excited about his assassination attempt. He was forced to fill the bucket with water and allow the pest to run out of energy swimming and eventually drown. I think it took about ten minutes total.

What have I learned from all this? THAT MICE/RATS DON'T FART!!!!!!! We had to research how to kill this thing and the internet told us to feed it baking soda because the bicarbonate reacts with the mouse's stomach acid to create gas. These rodents cannot pass gas and therefore, their intestines balloon up and explode! This fact was corroborated by multiple pest control services. (Thanks Heisenberg) Drowning seemed more humane than gut explosion.  However, next time I will use the baking soda and be sure to have Michael Bay on speed dial to film it. Speed dial?! Seriously?! That doesn't even exist anymore?! I am sooo old! Damnit!

I am glad the prince's reign is finally over but Andrew felt bad about his first cold blooded kill. So, we had to 'pour one for our homies'. This shot of Jack is for you little guy...may you never return.