Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I Go Where The Candy Goes

This Independence Day fell on a Sunday so I was at church. Our pastor has teaching time with the children of the congregation which is usually adorable and funny. This time our pastor asked one particular child what the 4th of July was about. The child did not know.

 I find that if a holiday does not involve candy and/or presents kids don't concern themselves with the meaning of the holiday. And who can blame them? If this holiday wanted to be more respected it would start doling out the candy and pronto!

So anyways, since the child did not know what the origin of the 4th of July was our pastor gave him a hint. He said,"It's when we celebrate our independence from what country?" The child stuttered and said,"It's umm...when we ummm...got seperated from...ummm...oh yeah! MEXICO!!" I think it's funny that we are soo far removed from europe that it is no longer even on our radar. But let's also keep in mind that every child here has experienced Mexican candy and raspas and when was the last time you heard of someone eating British candy? Gross. I go where the candy goes.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

No Fatties

Alot of people (I'm looking in your direction europe!) like to make fun of the U.S. for being so obese and for the most part they have the right because most of us are fat. But, the U.S. military has a strict "no fatties" requirement for all recruits across all branches. What is interesting here is that if any other job required its employees to maintain a certain weight, that would be considered discrimination and that fatty could probably sue that employer on such grounds. The military can get away with this "discrimination" because, well...they have tanks. Hooters can be sued for not hiring male servers. Airlines can be sued when a rotund passenger is forced to purchase two seats based on his or her size. An all Jewish school can be sued for not admitting gentiles. The list goes on and on. I'm sure I could come up with a reason why my last job prospect didn't hire me...perhaps Mal-Interview Skills Syndrome or MISS for short. It's a social disorder...that I might have made up, but that's not the point! The point is, we should be holding ourselves to higher standards like the military does. Instead of sueing someone because they hurt our feelings maybe (and I know this sounds crazy) we should take some initiative and loss weight or take a communications class or get gender re-assignment surgery (for the Hooter's guy...jk...or am I?) The bottome line is, if my job told me that I was going to be fired over 15 lbs. I'd start running around in trash bags until the weight came off and that is exactly what new military recruits do who need to lose the weight to follow their dreams. If it's good enough for the best military on the planet, it's good enough for me.