Thursday, May 14, 2015

Salmonella Be Damned, I'm Eating Chick-Fil-A

People always ask me what they can send to me that we don't have here in Italy. The answer is always the same, a teleportation device so that I can teleport Chick-Fil-A straight to my tum tums. With the new service of Amazon Prime I can order almost anything that I would want from America to Italy except for all of my white trash staple foods such as: Long John Silvers, Chick-Fil-A, Cracker Barrell, Church's Chicken and Dairy Queen.

I have written about my husband's amazing attributes before (in Trophy Husband) but a few months ago he really out did himself. He did what others said was impossible. He laughed in the face of UPS, Amazon and the U.S. Postal Service. He tested the very limits of airport security and the TSA. Similar to the smuggling capabilities of Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon, he brought Chick-Fil-A to Europe! He didn't even need Chewbaca's help to fend off tie fighters and the galactic empire.

My husband recently took a trip to Florida and on the last leg of his trip he noticed, glistening like the Emerald City of Oz, a Chick-Fil-A in the Jacksonville airport. He then proceeded to purchase two spicy chicken sandwiches and two regular chicken sandwiches for a grand total of four sandwiches. In retrospect, he should have paid for a checked bag and filled it with sweet, tasty nugs...another time, perhaps.

I received these heavenly, southern delights about 15 hours later and slightly crushed from being smashed into his backpack. Also, his backpack smells AMAZING. I put the chicken in the fridge to chill over night, in an attempt to kill any bacteria that most certainly started to thrive in the dark enclosure of that carry-on.

To my surprise, I did not die of salmonella or any other food borne bacteria. In fact, I thrived! I don't know when I will ever have Chick-Fil-A again but for now I have the crispy, greasy memories of sandwiches long gone.

If you find another way of getting me Chick-Fil-A or any other white trash food item please let me know. Hopefully it will be a way that does not include a $1,200 plane ticket or a delicate dance with food borne illness.


  1. Oh heck yeah!!
    Chick-fil-a should be on the food pyramid.
    Loved the post.

  2. And thus I begin my commissioning of Space-A travelers to smuggle American fast food into Bella Italia. Sei un genio

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