Monday, October 3, 2011

Instrument Shaped Objects

Anything made by the company First Act should come with a disclaimer to all parents noting that they are purchasing an "Instrument shaped object" and it should not be used in any musical settings. Playing said "instrument" in a musical setting could result in hypertension, explosive diarrhea, night terrors and hysteria.

Parents, ask yourself these questions when purchasing an instrument for your child. You are willing to spend $100 a month on lessons but not more than $50 on the instrument that is supposed to carry them thru middle and or high school? Are you purchasing your "instrument" at the same store that you buy personal lubricant, toaster strudels and Christian pop albums from a $1 bin? Is this "instrument" bright pink and covered in unicorns? Did you have a coupon for it? These are all signs that you might have just purchased an "instrument shaped object" instead of the real deal.

I'm just trying to help here people because in life there are instruments and there are cheap evil instrument shaped doppelgangers. Much like Michelle Bachmnan. Sure she looooks human but she is actually a cyborg sent here from the see what I did there, I got political for no apparent reason. I just M. Night Shyamalaned you!!


  1. Good one, Donna. I remember my parents bought me a Japanese Fender knockoff- brand name, Splender. It was like trying to play a pedal steel with your fingers....fretboard waay down there. Still it was a nice color.

  2. Lol the Michelle Bachmann comment brought it allll into perspective. She is terrifying.