Tuesday, September 9, 2014
May the Force Be with You
I just got to see the Plain White Ts (for free) and because I was bored. That last sentence is me trying to be "cool" so you don't think that I like pop music because I really only listen to T Rex, Phil Keaggy and Ghostland Observatory...because I am "cool". "Cool" me would NEVER listen to the Plain White Ts...
Anyways, while I was at this concert I realized that I was one of the OLDEST people there! (Tell your mom to go home!!!!!) This band's last hit single came out in, I believe 2006, and yet everyone at this concert was 12 year old girls? When did they hear this song? Was it in the womb? I don't know. What I do know is that these little ladies were riding a tidal wave of hormones. Yelling, screaming, waving and dressing very grown up. Few things are more fun than watching the ovaries of prepubescent girls exploding over 32 year old, grown, ass, men with guitars. What do these girls think will come of their screams and short skirts?
I can't imagine that a 32 year old, wealthy, married and mustachioed man is thinking to himself. "Man, you know what I love?! Chubby 12 year old girls." He doesn't think that because
1: That's gross 2: Most men like boobs 3: That's illegal
To be fair, my first celebrity crush was Harrison Ford, in a time when all other girls were swooning over Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Nothing is weirder than a slumber party conversation over crushes, that goes like this: "Who do you like?" "I like JTT" "I like N'SYNC" "I like the Back Street Boys" "I like HARRISON FORD from 1977 STAR WARS BECAUSE I AM WEEEEIIIIRD!!!!"
Chillax little girls and "May the force be with you".