Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Traveling on a Budget

Who doesn't travel on a budget? Doesn't everyone have a budget? I mean, even Kanye West has a budget, right? I'm sure if Kanye didn't have a budget that instead of staying at fancy hotels that he would just buy each hotel he stayed at, right? Or buy a home in every place he stayed at? That is a BIG budget but it is still a budget.

I have a significantly smaller budget than Kanye West. Trust me, I am as shocked as you are by that statement. So, I have compiled some more travel tips for the poor, the broke, the college kid, the 30 yr. old who still thinks they are a college kid and those who just don't understands "budgets".

I try to pack as light as humanly possible so that the air line won't charge me for an over-sized bag or for extra luggage. So, things like perfume don't come with me on vaca; instead, every morning, I go to a fancy department store, find the most expensive perfume and spray myself with it. The 100 euro perfume really washes away the stank of hostel living.

Ok now you are smellin' fresh! Now what? You want to hit up a club you say? All those guys on the beach passing out flyers? TAKE EVERY ONE OF THEM. Lost in the "Jim Belushi" of marketing you will find at least one free entrance to a club. GO TO THAT CLUB. It could be the best experience of your life OR the most hilarious.

Beverages? I'm not talkin' about Capri Suns here, although Capri Suns are delicious. Damn! Now I want a Capri Sun. Oh well. While out at bars, on vacation, don't order mixed drinks! Fancy places will put almost zero booze in them and then proceed to charge you 11 euros for said beverage. Stick to beer and wine. You are so classy right now with your 100 euro scent and Schlitz beer! Here, let me put an umbrella in that beer for you. Now, isn't that better? I can now charge you at LEAST 8 euros for that beer!

Try out these travel tips on your next vaca. I want to hear about them! Stay classy globetrotters!

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