Tarot cards are designed to be incredibly vague so that if you have any kind of imagination you can make the reading of the cards somehow about you and your life, past, present and future.
I want to create a deck of tarot cards that are alarmingly specific along with updated vernacular speech. Granted, these won't work on hardly anyone but when they do...
Here are some examples
"Girl, delete that old MySpace account. Seriously, kill it and any other outdated social media platforms that you had an account with. These are bad omens and only cause pain, misery and external judgment from others. Herald in the new day and halt the old before the past consumes you.
"You are too concerned with the lives and gossip of others. Focus on yourself and your immediate goals. Do not isolate yourself. These are your tendencies. If you don't heed this warning you will end up just like that kid in GoT, peeping on that queen in the TOWER boning her brother and then you will be a paraplegic but also can see the future?"
2:The High Priestess
"There are some uppity-ass bitches in your life, Wanda! Excommunicate these whores from your life. You will thank me later, Wanda"
10:Wheel of Fortune
"A series of emojis will go here"
"Stay single and your pockets will jingle."
"When Netflix asks, 'Are you still watching?' it's because Netflix is afraid that you might be dead. Someone should really alert the authorities, at this point. Rather, you have become a hermit and are incapable of leaving your hobbit hole which contains many leather bound books (Which you don't read) and Netflix."
"Collect all the wands, pass GO and then you win at Tarot! Isn't that how this game works?"