Sunday, October 24, 2010

Shit You Don't Need

This edition of "Shit You Don't Need" is entitled "Pampered Chef"

I went to a Pampered Chef party last night with a friend. I got roped into this by my boss who said that she would only go if I went so I went and, of course, my boss is a no show but luckily my friend went with me.

I quickly realized that the Pampered Chef is 1: freaking expensive and 2: f*cking retarded. I realized this when my friend leaned over and said "Oooh look this thing minces garlic and slices it!" My rebuttle was, "Ya, it's called a knife" Then my friend asked why I went to this in the first place and I said I really just wanted to hang out and get free wine and food.

The Pampered Chef catalog was teeming with crap that no one needs. For instance, an avocado knife? What's wrong with using just a regular butter knife? A thing that mashes ground beef, aka a spatula? Spice blends that I could make myself? I am convinced that women will buy literally anything at any price as long as it comes in pretty packaging and all their other female friends are doing it.

My friend said that the point of all these extra kitchen gadgets is to make cooking easier to which I said "It looks like the point of all these extra gadgets is to make me do more dishes; thus spending even more money on my water bill." Which leads me to believe that the Pampered Chef and the Water System is in be the judge. Either way, it's still overpriced stuff that you don't need. The only way that I would buy a $20 spatula would be if that spatula would buy the food, cook the meal and then have sex with me after the meal, wash the dishes and be sure to call me the next day. All of this would occur without me lifting a finger. Now that's a bargain!

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