Thursday, February 6, 2014

Prune Juice the Dr. Who of Juices

Which came first the chicken or the egg? Creationism or evolution? Can we really be sure? I say thee nay! I give you prune juice!

How does one juice a fruit that has already been dried out? Is there any juice left at all and if so how many plums are needed to make just one cup of prune juice? There are about 40 individual grapes in just one cup of grape juice. A plum is about 4 times the size of a large purple grape which should equal 10 plumes per glass of "plum" juice or 40 prunes to one cup of prune juice. Holy urinary tract infection batman that is a lot of fucking prunes! And, keep in mind that this is only a rough estimate.

I think the bigger question here is why is there no plum juice? There's plum wine but no juice? Only prune juice?! That would be like if there was no such thing as grape juice, only raisin juice. Gross. No cranberry juice only craisin juice. I just don't understand it. I think the only "real" explanation is that Dr. Who has brought some plums from the future and once exiting the tardis they immediately aged but they became an instant hit with the people of earth regardless because they belonged to the Dr. and his "prune juice" also offers us, mere mortals, with just a bit of his anti-aging properties thru these ancient plums...or at least that is the best explanation I can come up with.

Just when you think the universe is all out of mysteries, it hands you effing prune juice.

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