Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The Wizarding World of Latin!

Latin may be a dead language but don't tell that to your wizard friends. What? You don't have any wizard friends? Your loss. Harry Potter and the Pope, two of the most magical people on earth, both speak Latin. It's a powerful language, even in death.

What I don't understand is how you would speak Latin in everyday situations WITHOUT constantly casting spells and curses. Every mystical spell I have ever heard or read was just the actual request said/written in Latin. This could be good or bad depending on the situation. Let's say that I said, "Volo rhoncus varius sandwico!!!" Well, first I might have drawn a pentagram, then stood inside my pentagram and THEN declared that, "I want a grilled cheese sandwich!!!" in Latin. I'm a little fuzzy on the magical details but I'm pretty sure that's how it works. Next, POOF! a glistening grilled cheese sandwich appears before my supernatural eyes! Constant, magical, grilled cheese sandwiches would be so rad...also, no calories...because I said Latin. 

Here is an example of everyday magical Latin use gone awry. So, I am now consuming my other-worldly sandwich and (while still standing in the middle of the pentagram...I forgot to step out due to the incredible flavor of my incredible sandwich) I pronounce, "Hoc mirabile est, sandwico! Mea sunt gustus gemmas exploding!" OH SHIT. My taste buds begin to ACTUALLY explode into fireworks and my head is blown completely off. Now I am just as dead as the language that I have so casually spoken for my own selfish occult gain. 

Lesson? Be careful in Latin Club kids. You just might get your head blown off after consuming the most heavenly sandwich in all creation or you might get a D in Latin. Both are pretty terrible situations. 

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