Thursday, November 13, 2014
This cannot be true and here is why. Many U.S. children live off of a very steady diet of chicken nuggets and cheese pizza because they REFUSE to eat anything else. They give in to tantrums and even self-induced vomiting when faced with any other food possibilities. And yet, they have no problem putting dirt, Legos, bugs, toenail clippings, play-doh, used lipstick or any other foul floor flotsam in their mouths. What gives babies?! A green bean will make you vomit but used doll hair at the doctor's office waiting room is totally acceptable? Do you prefer blonde or brunette? Ah yes, a well-aged 2001 limited edition Dr. Barbie with only 12 previous owners, what a refined palette you have good sir! Might I suggest a light and crisp 6 day old apple juice with chunks of back-wash bread delicately suspended within this superb vintage. I believe it would pair nicely with your doll hair entree. Please try the Crisp Merlot Chewing Gum as a sweet finish to your meal. Dessert is served al fresco, gently dangling and teasing your taste buds from underneath this antiqued school desk.
Seriously babies, eat a green bean. How did WE outlive the dinosaurs? God knows there weren't any chicken nuggets or cheese pizza back then. There definitely wasn't any doll hair.