Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Nevermore! Quoth the Amazon


There was a time, long ago, when customers walked into a store, bought a 12 pack of white socks and NO ONE asked them to review the item purchased! No humans, no phone calls, no emails and no ad placements on social media ever asked the customer to review their purchase of a 12 pack of white socks and their shopping experience. The questions of, "Did this item meet your needs?", "Describe your shopping experience" and "Would you recommend a 12 pack of white socks to other customers?" were ever even proposed.

Now, I can only imagine a blissful utopia where I quietly purchase my econo size bag of socks. No one will know the shame of my poverty stricken feet. Facebook does not exist to proclaim to the world that I just purchased socks that were probably made by modern day slaves in China. I would not receive at least 4 emails a day from this horrid sock company asking me to leave a nice review.

The hounding never ends. Beep, beep, beep goes my infernal phone as update after update roll into the tiny computer like waves announcing and now, demanding that I critique my shopping experience and the quality of products that I have bought. There is no rest for the wicked. The incessant noise becomes a pulse of not just sound but also of light on my desk top; a constant reminder of my forgetfulness and moderately priced sock addiction. Neither the cover of night nor the deliverance of daybreak can cleanse me of this succubus. Beep, beep, beep goes the device.

Sleep comes slowly as dreams are rated by stars. One star dreams or four star dreams? Thumbs up or thumbs down on going in to work today? I cannot afford the luxury of ignorance. I  know for a fact whether or not this atrocious sock company has met my needs or not. In this story, the truth most certainly does not set you free. To give an honest opinion is to be harassed even more! The beast comes to me thru the amazonian internet jungle. "Remove your tainted evaluation and a gilded donation will await you!", the beast hisses.

Truly I say to you, there is no rest for the wicked. Beware the deals. Beware the socks and be free of the immutable beep, beep, beep.

2 comments:

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