Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Strong Weather Friends (Quick Tips on Finding Your Halloween Bestie)
We all have friends...some fair weather and some hurricane weather level friends. You can't be best friends with everyone, there just aren't enough hours in the day to devote to such an intense relationship and you are not Oprah. If you are Oprah and you are reading this right now then I would just like to say, thanks for being my best friend Oprah, I don't know how you put up with me!
This Halloween season (the most magical season of them all! Back off Christmas! I will cut you!), there are a few things to look out for when choosing your best friend and these tips will help you on your journey to bestfriendom.
If you walk into a Halloween party and no one understands your costume and you are constantly having to explain it to everyone in the room...you need to leave that party IMMEDIATELY. These people are not cool enough to be your friends. So what if you dressed as Dr. Girlfriend from the Venture Brothers from season 5 episode 8, that's not obscure, that is dope as hell and these people are just not on your cosplay level.
Diligently search out the one who hates what you love. And by this, I mean, if you love gummy candies then find someone who hates gummy candies. Real friendship is born of things that truly matter like virtue, strength, comradery and the ability to stay the FUCK away from my precious Haribo Bears!
Be on the look out for a partner in crime. Halloween can be mischievous and your neighbors house isn't going to tee pee itself. You need a reliable battle buddy, preferably someone with a strong right arm because flingin' toilet paper is harder than it looks.
Through thick and thin we are kin! Having fun, drinking, tee peeing houses and going to parties is great but who will be there for you in the morning? The dreaded day AFTER Halloween? This is the real test. The friend who stayed up till 4am with you just to watch horror movies or commit minor crimes or helped you into your Dr. Girlfriend costume and stayed thru it all till the dawn. They helped you clean up a sea of red solo cups off your living room floor, pulled chewing gum out of your hair (how it got there is a mystery for the ages), threw away the detritus of smashed pumpkins and with a smile on their face. Till next year best friend. You have truly weathered the storm of ultimate friendship.