Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Xtreme Vacationing (Transylvania Edition)

Relaxation is not something that I am good at. Wait, let me take that back. I am amazing at relaxation. Netflix is my bitch. My couch is a trusty steed. Cookie scented Yankee Candles are all up in this! However, when it comes to vacations I just forget how to chill.

I am not capable of just going to a Sandals resort or sailing the Caribbean on a cruise like normal people. I see vacations as some kind of a challenge. Vacations are my adventures. Every single vacation has to involve vomiting (at least once) some sort of misery mobile i.e. murder bus, death train thru the desert, hell metro, etc. My leisure time should also include extreme spots with minor injuries, narrowly escaping a shanking and usually witnessing some sort of prostitution or obscene public act.

Holidays are for spas, family time and mild sight seeing. My holiday is for throwing up in a Romanian night club, heat stroke, ingesting "medications", living in squalor at hostels and befriending Russian punks.

Extended breaks leave me exhausted, penniless and hungover. Yet, I would happily hop back on the murder bus and do it all over again. I don't know what exactly is wrong with me but if I did I don't think I would want to fix it.

I have uploaded two short videos (for your amusement) that perfectly showcase the antithesis of relaxation. Hiking up mystery mountain in Transylvania....I'm pretty sure that last phrase was a tagline to some B level horror movie.



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