Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Expert Food Blogging Tips

Pro-tip: While at your local hip cafe be sure to bring your laptop, dope sunglasses, blasé attitude and iphone to Instagram your hip coffee and pastry.

Why you ask? Because then the adorable owner will enlighten you on all his glorious confections in the pastry case. He uses only European butter in the hand made Mexican conchas mixed with Mexican vanilla and then allows the dough to rest for 24 hours instead of the pedestrian 8. You will also be given copious amounts of free samples that the other civilian customers could only dream of. Our friendly neighborhood pastry chef goes out of his way to give you a unique experience because he believes that you are a food blogger due to the fact that you are actually blogging and taking pics of your food.

What this entrepreneur doesn't know is that you are, in fact, NOT a food blogger. You blog about things like, "Can I fill my Culligan water cooler with vodka?", "Girl Scout cookies that are past their prime," "Am I too old for ripped jeans and crop tops" and "Who wants to pay for my master's degree in linguistics so that I can work for S.H.I.E.L.D".

It's ok, I will take the free Mexican concha and coffee and I will even pimp out your business right here, on this blog that no one reads!

Thanks again, La Panaderia in San Antonio, you are the best panaderia this side of the Rio Grande.


  1. Well, there are SOME folks that read this blog...

  2. Haha thanks AnkleBone for reading! Now go this Panaderia!

  3. There is a chance you're eligible for a complimentary Apple iPhone 7.