Monday, May 23, 2016

Remember When Your Life Was in Shambles? Facebook Remembers


Facebook mathematicians have stumbled upon the exact algorithms to find the worst possible photos of you during the most shameful part of your life, and no one is safe. You could be Chris Pratt and FB will only "share memories" from that time you were on the show "Parks and Recreation" and were a little tubby and pasty. It won't mention the fact that people still thought you were adorable, funny and oh yeah...a millionaire, nope the only noteworthy aspect of your life at that time, according to FB, was the fact that you were husky, and people NEED to remember how chunky you were. Will FB remember that you were in the award-winning film "Zero Dark Thirty"? No. Can FB recall the time that you starred in the graphically stunning "Lego Movie?" Nah.

This is sounding like I am creeping on Chris Pratt, which I am....the #creepening, but this example just shows that we are are all pawns in Facebook's elaborate shame game, the #shamening.


Here is my shame...and yes, I did the girl thing and didn't REALLY find the most terrible photo of myself, but a somewhat horrendous one, none the less. I didn't want to render my beloved readers blind after witnessing the ACTUAL worst photo of me, but don't worry Facebook will find it.


Also, shout out to home slice Chris Pratt for being my shame partner in this blog. #shamening


4 comments:

  1. That, and Facebook manages to show you all of your sad posts. Like, "2 Years Ago, your cat died!!!"
    Because that's what I totally needed on my Monday morning...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dude, seriously! FB will find your pain and jam a rusty knife into it...just for funsies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh the shamening, I do not miss you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you must watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Want your ex CRAWLING back to you...?

    ReplyDelete