Thursday, July 28, 2011

A Letter to Europe

I see a lot of unashamed/unabashed uni-brows. I will send you one aesthetician per 100 uni-brows if you promise to use them on a monthly basis; oh ya and tip them.

why do ALL your bathrooms smell like feral animal piss? You'd think that a restroom that you PAID for would be a lot nicer...but no it's the opposite. Maybe it's because you have forced us to squat on the floor like animals? Maybe it's because the actual bathroom is the size of Harry Potter's muggle bedroom. Or maybe it's because no one gives a shit...pun intended.

Water with gas or no gas? I have actually learned to like fizzy water; I just wish I didn't have to pay for the opposite.

Thank you for speaking English everywhere I go however; could you pleeeaase not talk about me behind my back in your native tongue because I know what you're saying....not just a pretty face people.

Please stop with the "FUCK BUSH" graffiti. He's not the president anymore and we don't write "FUCK SARKOZY or MERKEL or CAMERON or MEDVEDEV or BERLUSCONI anywhere. Not cool.

On a personal note, don't take this personal. I love Europe; this is just constructive criticism.

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