Tuesday, July 23, 2013

It's Adventure Time!

Being poor is so rad! There's danger at every corner! Traps, scandal, romance, intrigue! Every day is a new adventure! Will this tranny-prostitute stab me on this bus ride? How will I pay for rent this month?

A) digging thru the trash for winning lottery tickets
B) Posing nude for local university art classes
C) Letting Red Bull turn my car into a mobile advertisement

Who knows?! Maybe I will do all three, pay my rent and then buy myself something real nice like a bag of 'name brand' Haribo gummy bears to treat myself for all of my hard work!

Being poor also helps to keep the creative juices flowin'! For ex. "The only food items I have left are spaghetti and frozen edamame and I need these to last till next Tuesday." Solution, Asian noodle stir fry! Pick up some soy sauce packets from your local Chinese restaurant, pan fry those noodles and edamame in oil and even throw in some sriracha (also available in packet form) and you can even get a free packet of peanuts from Chick-fil-A (they usually, put them in their salads) and bam! You've got a complete meal.

Want to save on water? Fill up water bottles at mall fountains and take showers at the YMCA....sweeeeeet.

I feel bad for rich people. Their lives seem so boring. No one is trying to sue them over illegally downloading television or music. When they have a problem someone just fixes it for them? Where's the drama? The mystery? My car could explode at any moment because my exhaust is held together by duct-tape. I try to make every moment count because I could literally die driving my car 5 blocks to pick up free soy sauce packets! That is life!

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