Friday, June 20, 2014

The Snooze Machine!

Scene: I got zero sleep last night. Literally, I tossed and turned for two hours and then I just finally gave up, got out of bed, ate 2 popsicles (orange AND grape!), messed around on the inter-webs and then finally just went back to bed only to toss and turn for another 2 hours because, why not?!

Scene 2: I awake to the bone crushing sound of my cell phone alarm and by "awake" I mean disturbed because I have already been awake all night and even watched the sun rise. I set my alarm to "snooze" thus giving myself 5 more minutes of agony. I then have a panic attack over the fact that I need to make up 8 hours of lost sleep in 5 minutes.

Scene 3: My snooze alarm goes off and I think to myself, "WOW I AM TOTALLY RESTED FROM THAT EXTRA 5 MINUTES!!!!!! THANK GOD I SET THAT SNOOZE ALARM!!!!!!"
(said no one ever)

I need to invent a snooze button function that is actually a time machine. So that, I can press it, go back in time and actually get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleeps. My goals in life aren't that ridiculous or unattainable, just create time travel and invent cake that has no calories and even makes you skinnier as you eat it. It's really just two goals, if you think about it.

Or, I could just kill two birds with one stone (poor birds). I could just sleep/eat cake in a DeLorean and then go back in time be all like, "Hey, past self! Stop eating that cake, you will be fat and also go to bed, you will be sleepy!!!"

No comments:

Post a Comment