Thursday, April 7, 2016

Sorry Not Sorry, France!

A couple months ago I went to the movies and saw the film The Revenant, by myself. During this movie I noticed something very disturbing. Something far more disturbing than Leo DiCaprio, naked and hosteling inside a grotesquely maimed horse carcass was afoot here. What was the most terrifying aspect of this film? Was it blatant racism, pure hatred, lust for vengeance or the desire of earthly goods? Sadly, it was none of the above. The worst atrocities of this film was stupidity and it didn't lie with the acting, the script or the use of natural light. No our devil was hiding right in front of the audience in the subtitles.

There is a scene (spoiler alert, Darth Vader is Luke's dad!) in which a French fur trader is conversing with a Native American therefore subtitles arise upon this English speaking audience. The French fur trader speaks first and this is where the stupidity begins! "(In French).....". The subtitles HAVE to include the prelude "(IN FRENCH)"!!! This tells me several things first of which is that modern day Americans don't know jack shit about American history. Apparently, we have forgotten that America was founded by many French settlers and was defended by the French during the Revolutionary War. Dear God what are they teaching in these schools! Next, we manage to get even dumber because our society can't even audibly tell the difference between French and oh, you know, ANY OTHER LANGUAGE THAT ISN'T ENGLISH. Do people not take French in school anymore? Are schools only teaching EMOJI symbols and text/short hand?  Oh and wait, it manages to get worse. The subtitles also have to let us know if a Native American is speaking a Native American dialect or French....because French sounds EXACTLY like Navajo. Now look, I am a kind, perhaps judgmental (perhaps REALLY judgmental) blogger but I can be benevolent. If one can't hear differences from the Navajo language to the Cherokee dialect, I can understand that but if you can't hear the difference between French and Cherokee then you are either mentally handicapped or deaf.

Suddenly, I have realized why I saw this movie by myself. I am a huge asshole. I can't help but notice these things even though pointing out these blunders makes me look like the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons. Or maybe, I should become friends with the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons and forego humanity all together. Intellectually stimulating, spiritually bankrupt friendships are hard to come by in a nation under God but over education.

(In French) C'est dommage.
(In English) What a shame.