Saturday, July 5, 2014

A Meeting of Think Tanks (You Damn Dirty Apes!)

Totally forgot about this photo from the National Zoo in Washington, D.C. This photo was taken right by the monkey/ape exhibit. This zoo allows orangutans to freely swing from a very high rope to get to one enclosure from another over the heads of many frightened tourists. It was a lot like Planet of the Apes with a little less Charlton Heston and 100% more Asian tourists taking photos of EVERYTHING.

The National Zoo is free to the public so if I was part of this Think Tank I would try to find new ways to raise money for the zoo. I'm thinking simian birthday cards. You get to pick out the ape and then an underpaid zoo intern places your monkey at a typewriter to compose a wholly unique greeting card for your loved one! Sincere notes would include such kind words as, "ALSDkfjilsdij8678", "g88fioooooooo000000" and my personal favorite "--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------". I figure if people are dumb, I mean LOVING enough to buy elephant music and penguin foot paintings that it is about time our simian brethren had their chance to turn a trick, express themselves creatively and earn their keep. You can't put a price on the tender writings of an ape but if you did it would be $49.95 and available for purchase in the gift shop.

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