Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Gift Wrapping 101.1

Do you have 5 Johns in your household? What about 3 Franks or 7 Karens? How do you differentiate between all those Franks and Karens when packaging their Christmas gifts all under one hallowed tree? The simple answer is to just pick your favorite John or Frank and only buy that one Frank or John a gift, although this does violate the Christmas spirit.

Despite the fact that I am the only Donna in my home, my husband still felt the need to make sure that no other doppelganger Donnas open any of my presents come Christmas morning.

In case you can't read my spouse's hand-writing, because it is worse than the mangled script of a chimpanzee with Parkinson's disease and a broken hand, I will translate for you. The tag reads: To: Donnizzle AKA "Heart of Darkness", From: her Boo

I really hope no one else out there is named Donnizzle or "Heart of Darkness", that would cause so much confusion at the DMV.

Now, here is a real problem. If anyone from the Flight of the Conchords opens up my gifts and claims them for himself...shits.gonna.get.real. I'm looking at you, Jemaine. Everyone knows how tasty my rhymes are and that I am the ORIGINAL Rhymenocerous; however, it is debatable whether or not my husband is or was a Hip-hopapotamus.

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