Saturday, December 27, 2014

Gift Wrapping Machine: Roomba or Wrapba

I can speak several languages, play musical instruments and navigate my way across Europe but dear God, help me if I have to gift wrap something. All my friends and family know that If they receive a gift from me then that gift will be hastily thrown into a bag and not wrapped. I'm sure that I could master Chinese acrobatics before I could entangle myself in the deranged, origami art of gift wrapping.

What sadist came up with this stupid idea? Hitler? Stalin? Emperor Nero? Personally, I think it was probably Batman's nemesis the Riddler. That guy LOVED surprises.  We all want to be surprised come Christmas morning or birthday but why do our gifts have to be intricately coated in extremely thin paper? THROW THAT SHIT IN A BAG!!!! It's gonna get tor' up inna bout 10 seconds!!!! SON!!!!!

The answer to this query is, of course, technology! We have drones, roombas, diswashers and netflix but we don't have a machine that will wrap presents for us yet? Talk about your first world problems! Society needs a Wrapba! Stick your gift inside the Wrapba Box, fill it with the wrapping paper, of your choosing and let the Wrapba do the work! From the company that brought you Wrapba, we give you Bowba! Bowba will give your special bounty the most elaborately enchanted bows imaginable!

I think the real question here is: If someone gives you Wrapba or Bowba for Christmas how do they wrap it?

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