Friday, August 5, 2011


As much as I would looove to take all the credit for solving space, I'm afraid this honor goes to the ancient Romans.

I recently took a trip to Italy and in all my travels I have realized that the only thing that truly stands the test of time is stone. Forget about love, dreams and ideas; nope, it's cold hard stone. David, the Rosetta Stone, the Parthenon, Christ the Redeemer, the Great Wall of China and the Wailing Wall, all of these items survived wars, bombs, natural disaster and most importantly time. I don't understand why we still don't primarily work in stone. I almost burned my house down the other day but if my house were made of stone I could burn it to the ground everyday!!! Now, what does my kitchen burning to the ground and ancient Roman statues have to do with extraterrestrial exploration?

Between 1961 and 1984 Russia was dreaming of a non-sexual way, of course. The U.S. had the moon and also had it's eyes on Mars. So Russia turned its eyes towards Venus and sent several unmanned probes to the planets surface. What they didn't know was that the surface temperature of Venus is about 800 degrees Fahrenheit. Only two pictures were snapped and sent back to Mother Russia before the probe caught fire and burned up faster than Russia's space dreams. No probe has been sent to the surface since.

Well here is a craaaazy idea that only a Ruskie would go for! Why not take some of those same probes and incase them in stone so that they won't burn up the instant they hit the surface of Venus? Ooooh!!! Or what about stone spacesuits?! You'd look like an animated Terra Cotta Warrior! Either way, I think stone is pretty underused and under appreciated in the modern world. The only place left for stone to go is to boldly go where no man or machine has gone before!

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