Happy New Year! I wanted to wish you an Unhappy Old Year but that's in the past. Speaking of which, here are some hashtags that made my old year quite unhappy.
#blessed....because your benevolent god saw fit to just, simply bless you. Aren't you special. Every time something bad happens to me am I cursed? "I gained 10 pounds over the holidays!" #cursed
#nofilter...OMG you took a photo NOT on Instagram?! I am glad that you told me because I am going thru Instagram withdrawls.
#nomakeup...I wish this was the caption underneath my shitty passport photo. When will we be allowed to use Instagram for official photos? If someone had to indentify my body from an official photo no one would know who I was. They would only be familiar with my facebook and Instagram postings that contain numerous filters and an entire Clinique counter worth of make-up.
#cleaneating...WTF does that even mean?! As opposed to dirty eating? So, eating out of a dumpster ISN'T considered clean eating? What foods are clean and which ones are dirty? Am I on a kosher diet now?