Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Karaokeing at Life

Some people can sing, some people can't sing and some people "look" like they can sing. Karaoke is fun. Mario Kart is fun. Eating jelly donuts is fun. Ultimate Frisbee is fun. But, you shouldn't get awards for any of these things or even be featured on national television for your amazing donut eating capabilities, your intense Mario Kart skills or fake singing to, "It's Raining Men". Hilarious it might be but award winning it is not. This is coming from someone who (undeservedly got 2nd place at a karaoke contest).

Karaoke "artists" should team up with air guitarists and start composing fake music. Why are people being celebrated for these non-skills? Also, lip-syncing? Why are you a thing? You can be hilarious when a tiny white girl mimes the words to a rap song but that is really just acting under a different name and actors already get awards for practicing a "real" craft. I think that real artists should be totally offended by this trend! What if I just walked into my dentist's office and started miming dentistry and then stole all of the doctor's patients to my new and hilarious dental practice? Cavities would get filled with bubblegum and jelly donuts...ironically, also how you get cavities, in the first place.

I am going to start "karaokeing" to things that I suck at, in life, for comedic effect but also to shift the attention away from just how terrible I am at certain activities and by "certain activities", I mean life.

Instead of actually working out, I'm just going to karaoke it?! Mime everyone on all the machines and make fun of all there inappropriate grunting and lifting of heavy objects, for no reason.

Why clean your house when you can karaoke? Just look like you are cleaning! For more fun, I suggest filling all cleaning bottles with cheap vodka so you can drink in between "karaoke" sets or "cleaning".

Sometimes I "karaoke" at being nice to people and their faces. But, don't we all do this? You just didn't know it! You are a karaoke master!!

I also have a 5 octave range when it comes to "karaoke" my dental hygiene. I only floss the night before a dentist's appointment and yet I have never even had a cavity? The karaoke gods have smiled upon me!

I dare you to out karaoke me! Hmm, we might need to set up some kind of award system to figure this out.

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