Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I'm registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond for our Divorce

The divorce rate in America is about 50%. Fifty percent of all marriages will end in divorce. Why do it? If I went to the movies and there was a 50/50 shot that I would like said movie, I just wouldn't go. I would wait and watch it on TV for free or for whatever the cable company charges me every month for there vast, often times too vast (ESPN the Ocho), services.

People take a night out at the movies more seriously than marriage. How do we, as a society, fix this problem? Maybe, divorce should cost as much as a wedding. If you paid $10,000 on your marriage you should have to pay $10,000 in taxes, for the year of your divorce. Obviously, you would be exempt for your, "Reasons for Divorce". Say, if your husband beats you or if your spouse turned out to be a giant whore. Like, seriously, a GIANT whore. Someone who grew 50 feet over night and then sexed up everyone within a 10 mile radius. That seems fair. Where would these tax dollars go you ask? Driving down the national we can afford more weddings.

Now, I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "Man I have to poop right now. I wish blogs had commercial breaks so that I could go poop." Don't worry, I'll wait....waiting....waiting...oh, you're back! Let's continue. You might also be thinking, "Well, my wedding didn't cost $10,000 because I got married at the court house for $75." Don't worry, I have a devious plan for you cheap skates! Court house weddings that can be proven to have cost less than $1,000 will be treated like bankruptcy upon divorce. Your credit will be ruined but no extra taxes, that year.

I think this plan would greatly inhibit the divorce rate in America. It would also inhibit the rate of marriage, as well. People might be less likely to just jump into something if they knew of ALL the consequences that lay ahead of them if their gamble crumbles. People might even REALLY work on their marriages to keep them afloat. Some might even start to shrink from their GIANT whore status'. Seriously, like 50 foot tall whore/man-whores...weird.

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