Monday, May 26, 2014

Modern Antique

I am in love with modern design and home furnishings. The problem is that this is the style of rich people. Modern is modern because it's modern. Did I just blow your mind? Well, I blew my mind just then. Modern is constantly and often changing with the times; otherwise it wouldn't be modern. This means that you can't just walk into a Goodwill, Salvation Army or used furniture store and hope to get any good quality modern furniture. Of course, there is always IKEA but let's be honest, I can barely order a fancy coffee from Starbucks let alone read Swedish hieroglyph instructions. Also, if I am going to put in the 9 hours that it takes to build a Billy Book Case, that damn book case better last a life time.

Here is what I suggest. We need a modern antique store. Rich people need to redecorate, at least, every five years. So, where does all that rich people modern furniture go? It needs to go to me, inside my tiny house on the bad side of town, is where it needs to go. I don't want country crap, stuff covered in burlap, stupid wooden signs that say, "Home Is Where the Heart Is". Honestly, I actually wish that I loved that stuff because I would save a lot of money on decorating.

My house needs to be living in a Clock Work Orange future! Sans all the theft, murder and weird eye-make-up. My budget is severely lacking to afford such a life style. So, for now, my house is (stylistically) in a Clock Work Poor.

Rich people unite! Sell your home goods to the Modern Antique store and make even more money off of your gently used furniture so that I can roughly use them until the next trend arises in Stanley Kubrick films and home design.

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